Tell me why I don't like Mondays

Those of you who are regular followers of my blog know that I like to integrate music and lyrics references into my blogs when it strikes as me in just the right way...so visualize me singing to the famous Boomtown Rats song. The chorus goes like this:

Tell me why I don't like Mondays

Tell me why I don't like Mondays

Tell me why I don't like Mondays

I wanna shoot the whole day down

You see yesterday Monday September 24 was a "busy" day (substitute the word busy with words like exhausting, anxiety-laden, intense).  Not only did it include (hopefully) the next treatment but also the crucial enhanced CT scan at six months surveillance to determine the status of my cancer.  So yesterday began with an 8:30 visit to the Oncology clinic at St. Josephs for bloodwork prior to my scan.  From the 6th floor East building getting blood-work drawn it was downstairs to Ground level Main floor Diagnostic Imaging for registration and prep which involved drinking a tall glass of special water one hour in advance of the scan.  My parents accompanied me today and actually came down the night prior, staying in the guest suite of our condo building...more on my parents and our time together shortly.  We waited in the DI waiting room for an hour until the scheduled scan, talking, keeping my mind busy not dwelling on the scan until called in (and had to drink another tall glass of that special water). Smartly I had applied some EMLA cream on my wrist where I thought they would insert the IV line while waiting and the IV line insertion was pain free (thanks again Barb and Nancy!!!!).  The actual CT scan was not something new to me.  If you remember I had two when in hospital / inpatient for my surgery back in March - the first being a scan prior to surgery and the second one mid-week while recovering from surgery (since I had developed an infection / fever) producing a real scare when it detected a spot on my liver (which ended up being cleared as not detectable through a follow-up ultrasound.  A spot on a distant organ from the primary site detected on a scan/ X-ray/ ultrasound whatever can be sooooo intensely scary for a cancer patient or at least in my mind.  It is almost the ultimate in bad news that caused me so intense an anxiety reaction then despite the ultrasound clearance.  It hit to my darker fears and came right in the context of an already intensely emotional time when so much was happening all at once.  But back to the scan yesterday...the procedure itself takes about 10 minutes or so, involves no pain but does involve the machine injecting a special dye about halfway through the scan that warms you internally all over your body and instantly gives a strange metallic taste in the mouth that doesn't go away for some time.  You are instructed to breath, hold your breath, breath, hold your breath repeatedly as this loud machine spins around you.  It really is a unique experience.

After the scan was over it was back up to the 6th floor Oncology clinic to find out how the blood-work taken earlier had come back and for treatment.  The nurses called me in for treatment which was / is positive news...at the end of the day it means the team assessed my blood-work as being healthy enough to continue treatment.  Although it does turn out that my platelets had dropped significantly...81.  Again not in the danger zone for imminent bleed but still low.  Everything else of significance incidentally - WBCs, neutrophils, hemoglobin - all showed normal to strong/healthy levels.  So my Oncologist and pharmacist conferred and decided to continue with treatment as we are determined to push through the last three treatments if healthy enough and continue with Neupogen injections to keep the WBC and neutrophil counts up.  So another four weeks of pretty brutal side effects, extreme fatigue and some bone pain that radiates out from my spine to my hips, legs and neck, but in the immortal words of my friend and fellow battler and blogger Barb - bring it on!!!!  There is nothing we can do about platelets dropping other than delay treatment (not ideal) and reduce dosage.  The decision was made to continue treatment, monitor the platelets closely, and keep me at full dosage of the chemo.  And folks...from my perspective that is good news.  I want to keep pushing on through these last three treatments at FULL dose...let's give this cancer everything we got...kick the crap out of it NOW.  And let me recover enough strength to be there fully for my wife and baby on the way...THAT is the ultimate goal for me.

So...Treatment 10 is underway.    YIPPPPPEEEEE!!!!!!! Again referring to my grade school math I think that works out to 83% of the way done!!!!!!!!!  Only 2 more treatments to go.   Let's get it on.  I am sitting here on my couch with my 5FU infusion bottle by my side slowly infusing me through a tube in my chest hooked up to my port as I write this. Tomorrow a nurse will come to my home and disconnect the infusion as normal.  Thursday Victoria will begin injecting me daily with Neupogen for 5 days.  

But I hope that I am not giving off entirely negative vibes in this post.  You see my parents came down for this important day and that is something that is really special to me.  They hadn't joined me at any of my treatments prior and were adamant that they wanted to be there for the CT scan...they had heard and felt my anxiety about the day and expressed a desire to be a part of the day.  As I wrote above they came down for a visit with Victoria and I Sunday night and we went out for a wonderful dinner at Lahore Tikka in Little India of Toronto...one of our favourite spots...and enjoyed authentic Pakistani and northern Indian cuisine which we all love.  Conversation flowed and just like my short-term sabbatical to Tobermory the week before was just what I needed, just what the doctor ordered.  Although we talked a little about my feelings about the day to come we talked about so much else that really allowed me to forget all about it at least temporarily.

And honestly I think not only was it great for me to have my parents with me for the day I respectfully think it was really good for them as well...to see my routine, my process if you will with regard to the Oncology treatments which have been my life for the past 4 months.  They got to meet my nursing team and my Oncologist, Dr. Lingas, who are all so caring and so positive.  In fact Dr. Lingas was kind enough to come see me during treatment and talk to me about the CT scan and next steps...as I had requested to talk to her about it.  I have a scheduled appointment to discuss the results with my surgeon, Dr. Hart, but not until the following Thursday October 4 - 10 days of agonizing waiting - not ideal.  As soon as she heard or saw my anxiety she suggested we meet this Thursday when she will have the report from the Radiologist.  And I immediately agreed.  She made a point of saying in front of my parents that I am one of her patients she is NOT worried about...that the scan will be good news and that she doesn't worry.   Her positive attitude and energy is so helpful.  I don't want to speak for other cancer patients or patients who are battling such a serious life-altering disease but I would rather have the information, regardless of what it is, sooner rather than later.  I can act on information.  As my blog suggests I am all about my own empowerment to take in information and act, advocate, drive things as I need to.

My parents Jim and Jean accompanying me in the treatment room (we were one over the limit!)

The two-hour infusion complete waiting for the loading dose and hook-up to the 5FU infusion bottle and head home

So...Dr. Lingas and I will meet on Thursday to discuss my CT scan.  Victoria is going to join me- nothing short of her going into early labour will stop that. And I will share the results afterward.  When, how, to who, how soon...I don't know.  But I will post and update you all on my blog when I am inspired to.  And I plan to SHOUT the GOOD NEWS out so loudly that everyone can enjoy it with me without need for smartphone, text, email, Internet blog.  I cannot wait to celebrate that as of six months of battling I am currently cancer free, winning the battle and kicking the crap out my colon cancer.

Before I end this long, rambling but emotionally laden post I want to give a special shout out to some very special members of Team Brown, honorary members of the Kicking the Crap Crew.  Not to exclude anyone else but these people have been so supportive from day one of diagnosis, have been my coaches if you will...and have selflessly surprised with big little gestures like timely messages, gifts of golf shirts, autographed picture of Bryan Adams - accompanied by notes to me full of support and love that have just buoyed my spirits and given me a burst of internal strength on days when I haven't felt so strong.  A shout out to my Aunt Diana and Uncle John Loomis, cousin Liz Loomis-Taliano and her family John and Isabella.  I appreciate your love and support...and I appreciate you.

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And a shout out to some others in the inner circle...my sister Jodie and her husband and my brother in law Brad, my parents, my sister Laura and her partner Bill, Colleen Baker, husband Rob Baker, co-workers and friends Kelly L, Julie-Noelle,  friends of ours Diane, Tony, Linda...and last but certainly not least my rock, my best friend, Victoria - your messages to me throughout the day yesterday helped get me through the day.  For anyone I have missed I blame it on the chemo brain ;-)  Just know that I definitely felt the positive energy you sent my way - and appreciate you for it.

Sending out positive vibes into the cosmos...and hoping for all your positive energy in return.   Until next time stay healthy everyone.