Monday, July 30, 2012

Coldplay concert and Blue Jays game...Risky Business

So in the past week I have really pushed the envelope...really took some risks...I went to the Coldplay concert at the ACC last Monday night with Victoria along with 20000 other people and it was actually a great concert.  One of the best I have been to and that is saying something.  They really connected with the crowd right from the first notes of their first song and put on quite the technic light and paper confetti show.  I am not even a huge Coldplay fan but was impressed with their show.  Well worth the risk ;-)

As if attending a rock concert in a large crowd, travelling on the TTC subway, wasn't enough risk Victoria and I joined some friends at the Rogers Centre yesterday to watch the Blue Jays play the Tigers...along with 30000+ other people.  The most challenging thing for me about going to a ballgame is finding food and drink that is "friendly" to my strict diet...I managed to find a turkey wrap, some sushi and water at the ballpark and enjoyed pickerel with root vegetables at Bar Wellington afterward for dinner. As diet friendly as you can expect when out and about.  But man is it tough to be surrounded by people enjoying the delicacies of the ballpark - hotdogs, draught beer, ice cream, nachos, popcorn, cotton candy....you name it.  And like my post from the Sweet Shop in Tobermory earlier this week everyone had a big smile on their faces while enjoying these delicacies.

It is mind boggling how "germ-a-phobic" I am becoming...carrying my bottle of hand sanitizer with me everywhere, washing my hands literally dozens of times during the day.  Quite frankly I really don't know how risky rubbing elbows with large crowds is to me these days.  My Onc team, especially my nurses, have cautioned me about being in crowds when I am immune compromised as I am.  But honestly I have to still live...enjoy things like concerts, ball games, picnics, riding public transit, whatever...and just be smart about it.  The benefits and positive impact to my overall mood completely outweigh the risks as far as I am concerned.







Thursday, July 26, 2012

The Sweet Shop...oh how I miss you

Hello from Tobermory!!! Victoria and I managed to get away from the heat and humidity of TO this week and are enjoying the peaceful splendor of the Bruce Peninsula, Tobermory, and Cameron Lake. It is soooo worth the long drive from the city...I literally feel better as soon as we reach
North of Brampton on Hwy 10.

Since we are experiencing a cloudy windy day up here Victoria and I thought we would head into Tobermory and grab a green tea, sit on the patio of the Sweet Shop and simply chill...and while I love sitting here and relaxing in Tobermory I am completely Jonesing the ice cream cones that everyone is enjoying around me. They look so happy!!! I probably should have thought about this more...complete dairy and sugar restriction in my diet...no more two scoops of Raspberry Mango in a waffle cone for me (my favourite). But I have a question? How can something that puts a huge delightful smile on people's faces like apparently the ice cream here at The Sweet Shop be bad? Damn cancer. Damn dairy-free diet. Oh well...back to my organic Japanese green tea and then back to the cottage for whitefish, swiss chard and quinoa...with some nice Kefir for dessert ;-)

Hope everyone is enjoying the wonderful treats of summer...seriously. Positive energy to all who take the time to stop and read awhile.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Two weapons in my arsenal...



Who would ever have thought that mouthwash could be one of your best friends?!  My mother, Jean, actually introduced me to the Healthy Mouth mouthwash, all natural, fluoride and alcohol free (which is needed for chemo-induced mouth sores).  She says they work for her sores so I thought I would give it a try...and wow...not only does it taste pretty good (considering my lack of taste buds) but it really seems to work.  It cleared up a huge sore I had on my left side of my mouth last week in just a couple of days but gave me instant relief from the pain of the sore.  I use it preventatively now (I hate rinsing my mouth in salt water which is the prescribed method of prevention) and regularly.  It is a godsend.

The book...I just cannot put it down.  This book came to me recommended by my Onc team, my naturopath and my mother.  It looks at foods that are showing more and more "evidence" to assist in prevention of cancers and even some which research is beginning to conclude may even support the fight against active cancers that have already materialized beyond simple initiation and development phase. This highlights the naturaceutical powers of some foods to exhibit similar disease fighting capabilities as human manufactured drug therapies.  While I would never negate my own drug therapy regimen in place of simply diet and supplements there is much to be said about the powers of diet - foods - to complement drug therapy or even at a base minimum result in better overall health though diet.

Some of the foods highlighted in the book, called out for their anti-cancer potential, were and are a part of my diet already which is something validating for me mentally to know that I was and am on the right path in this regard.  Without outlining all the various foods called out in the book (I highly recommend anyone and everyone read this book.  It can absolutely do you no harm and may result in wonderful enlightenment to the power of food) here are a few of the foods specific to my type of cancer, colon cancer, that I am focused on   highlighting in my own diet plan:  blueberries, blackberries, raspberries, cruciferous vegetables like kale,  broccoli, cabbage, spices such as turmeric, cumin, black and cayenne pepper, soy beans, avacado, olive and coconut oil and coconut milk, garlic and onions galore, tomatoes - cooked and sauteed with olive oil - green tea and...wait for it...a glass or two of red wine...just to name a few.

After all...maybe food can help Kick the Crap out of Colon Cancer.  


Friday, July 20, 2012

Day 2 of Treatment 6...Exactly HALFWAY there!!!!

Victoria took me into treatment yesterday and it was much much quieter in the treatment room than last time...perhaps for that reason it wasn't nearly as emotional an experience as previous..or maybe it was that Victoria and I had visited her OB-GYN earlier in the week and were still on a high from that appointment.  Our little girl baby is growing and developing normally and is getting more active with each day.   I still haven't been able to feel her kicking or moving but Victoria certainly is.  It's not blissful though as she has been complaining of a band of pain up in her ribs this week and we aren't sure if it's the baby or changes to Victoria's body to blame.  Either way it is painful for Victoria but a good pain in light of the reasons for it.

It was good news and bad news yesterday after the bloodwork came back.  Let's focus on the good news first....I was healthy enough to take another treatment making it now #6 out of 12...or according to my elementary math skills 50% down, HALFWAY THERE...aren't those the lyrics to a Bon Jovi song?

Whooah, we're half way there 
Livin' on a prayer 
Take my hand and we'll make it - I swear 
Livin' on a prayer



And now the bad news.  The nurses were concerned at the levels of neutrophils in my blood...part of the whiteblood cell count that they monitor (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neutrophil_granulocyte).  In fact, they were just .2 levels above the baseline for treatment.  So...this makes me at a greater risk for infections, fevers and getting sick generally.  I am immuno-compromised or suppressed.  My Oncologist, Dr. Lingas, looked at the bloodwork from the previous and noted that it wasn't a downward trend to this level...but rather a significant drop in the past two weeks since last treatment where the WBC didn't rebound to a healthier level. So it may just be a blip, a one-time drop or it may be a sign of increased immuno-suppression.  For next treatment, if it drops any further the really bad news is that treatment will be delayed and I will have to undergo several injections of Neupogen (http://www.drugs.com/neupogen.html) to stimulate my white blood cell generation and to bring to me a safer level for continuing treatment.  Let's hope that this won't be necessary but if it is...it is what it is.  And from discussions with the entire Oncology team there is absolutely nothing I can do whether it be through lifestyle or diet to impact the neutrophil count.  It is a side effect of undergoing chemotherapy and I should actually feel good about the fact that I have managed so far without the wbc bottoming out.  I will keep you all posted in two weeks!!!


Working as a Team....using naturceuticals in combination with standard therapy.

So Victoria and I arranged to meet with both my Oncologist and the Oncology Pharmacist to summarize our meeting with Dr. Genuardi, Doctor of Naturopathic medicine this past Saturday and the discusssion with the Oncology team was a good one.  Dr. Lingas gave the green light to most of the diet and naturceutical approaches recommended by Dr. Genuardi, deferring to her Pharmacist for a couple of items including supplements that have been recommend.  The main concerns from the Oncology team seem to centre around the Curcumin supplements and possible interactions / toxicology with FOLFOX treatments and the Probiotic supplement recommendation.  There simply isn't enough clinical data out there that demonstrates clear efficacy and safety of Curcumin extract in combination with FOLFOX so...we will take the safe approach. I have the go-ahead to start these supplements at the recommended dosage (2 X 400mg twice daily) except one day before chemo, during chemo and two days after chemo infusion stops.  There was greater discussion surrounding the recommendation to start a ProBiotic supplement and with doses up to 5 billion CFUs.  The concern surrounds the fact that I am immuno-compromised and that for normal healthy people introduction of these 5 flora into the GI tract would normally not pose a threat...but rather have a positive impact on intestinal flora.  For a patient like me that is compromised there is a slight risk that introducing these bacteria may have a negative impact on my immune system. 


At the end of the day I have lots to loop back to Dr. Genuardi with....communicate what the Onc team said about the naturopathic recommendations with the potential to loop back with the Onc team after this discussion.  After all, we are all working together as a team for my treatment plan.


Day 2 of Treatment #6:  Feeling blah

I will briefly relay how I am feeling today...on day 2. I think I can sum it up in one word 'Blah'.  My fingers and toes are extremely sensitive to anything cold, my throat too meaning that anything I ingest whether it be liquid or solid cannot be cold...it has to be room temperature or else my throat closes up and threatens to choke me on whatever I am ingesting.  Not a pleasant feeling.  My nausea is being managed which is great relief.  Some hiccups today but went away after about half an hour or so.  My energy level is pretty low...fatigue sets in just from short walks or basic activities.  So I had a nap today and it was absolutely necessary and helped.  Lastly...bye bye taste.  I can literally feel and taste my teeth.  Fellow patients will know what I am referring to....no taste buds, my gums and tongue feel like they have been scraped of all cells that give taste...so what is left? My teeth.  Oh well.  I hope it comes back like it has before.

I will end my posting here and follow-up later with more exciting baby news and an update on the 1st Annual Bum Run.  I have registered a team and am gratefully looking for team members and/or sponsors...the team is The Kicking the Crap Crew!  You can access my personal page at http://my.e2rm.com/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=1502857&langPref=en-CA or the team http://my.e2rm.com/teamPage.aspx?teamID=297575&langPref=en-CA&Referrer=direct%2fnone where you can Join or Sponsor the team.

Bye for now and until later...take care, all!

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Help me Kick the Crap out of Colon Cancer...in the Bum Run 2012!

I posted recently about the 1st Annual Bum Run in Toronto Sunday August 26th...and have formed a team, The Kicking the Crap Crew, to participate in the run and raise funds for Colon Cancer Canada....a cause that is obviously very close to my heart and my butt!

So I lovingly appeal to you to get off your butts and support Colon Cancer Canada in the 1st Annual Bum Run....Support me and The Kicking The Crap Crew by sponsoring me or a team member.

http://my.e2rm.com/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=1502857&langPref=en-CA&Referrer=https%3a%2f%2fsecure.e2rm.com%2fregistrant%2fsessionExpired.aspx%3feID%3d94066

In advance let me say 'Thank You'!!!

BioK Bum Run 2012

Connecting with a Naturopath...making changes for life!

Sorry all for such a long time between posts...all is well just time has been moving so quickly these days.  To update you all on the side effects as I move to my next treatment this week they have been....well...better managed.  Mouth sores and sensory neuropathy are still pretty intense and the fatigue has come in waves but energy levels are pretty good all things considered and the GI issues are manageable / tolerable.

This past weekend, Victoria and I met with, Dr. Cinzia Genuardi (B.Sc, ND) a Doctor of Naturopathic Medicine.  We had discussed beforehand with my Oncology team that I hoped to connect with a Naturopath and they were supportive as long as we all work together and not work at cross-purposes.  I had been referred to Cinzia through a friend who had been guided through her battle with cancer and provided a moving testimonial to me to explore.  My goal is to supplement my treatment plan with natural alternative therapies, to complement the chemotherapy approach and regimen, and to help manage the side effects of the treatments through diet and supplements.

What a fantastic meeting albeit a little overwhelming mentally!  Cinzia's approach was so supportive.  We discussed me...from head to toe...how I am doing, how I am feeling...in extreme detail.  We discussed my drug therapy, all meds that have been prescribed as part of the treatments, all supplements that I take...all of it.  The focus then shifted to my diet...everything that I consume from the minute I wake to the end of the day.  From this lengthy and detailed discussion came her guidance and "prescription" if you will of changes to my diet and supplements to support my Treatment Plan.  Hence the overwhelm.   I had made some changes to my diet in concert with the start of my treatments months ago...nothing too drastic but really making conscious food choices that represented a more healthy diet and what I thought better armed to fight the cancer.  I had drawn up a list of what I call "super foods" that I tried to consume regularly, daily at minimum that included things like kale, broccoli, spinach, watermelon, strawberries, blueberries, asparagus, lemons, mangoes, arugula, raspberries, almonds, cherries, bok choy.  I openly admitted to consuming rice, bread, bananas, pasta especially on those days after chemo when the GI issues are most intense.  I talked about choosing organic fruits, veg and meats when and where possible.  I thought I was doing all the right things with regard to my diet...but after discussing with Cinzia (and reading the book Foods that Fight Cancer - a must read!) we developed a new diet plan...and there are drastic changes I am making immediately.

Sugar - OUT.  No sugar, no sweeteners unless naturally in a food (i.e. fruit) and on the new diet plan.  My lay person's understanding is that the goal is to deprive the cancer cells of their energy source.  At least Cinzia has conceded a half teaspoon of sugar in my morning coffee...whew!

Starch - OUT.  Any food that quickly converts to sugar in the body such as pasta, potatoes, rice are to be drastically reduced if not limited for the same reason as the removal of sugar from my diet.  Anyone who knows me knows that this is going to be a real challenge for me...I love pasta, I love rice...I don't just like them....I LOVE them.  On a positive note I am allowed to very occasionally include pasta or rice in a "celebration" meal ...so I have THAT to look forward to ;-)

Dairy - OUT.  This directive is supported by a lot of information out there that I had read previously...but admittedly there is a great deal of controversy over milk (and milk products) and their health value to our bodies...the thought here is that pasteurized milk is responsible for unhealthy impact to the mucosal layer of the colon / GI tract particularly because the act of pasteurization eliminates enzymes and bacteria that otherwise would healthily assist absorption of milk and it's nutrients.  Soy Milk is also out...the thinking there is that soy milk is a man made processed liquid that offers no real value to my body.  After panicking I asked about Almond Milk (I have come to enjoy almond milk over the past year) and got the go ahead to consume it...so it's not ALL bad news ;-)


So what's in then?

i) Granola, steel-cut oats, quinoa to replace rice, pasta and potatoes.  Good thing I love quinoa.
ii) Garlic, onions, lots of spices like basil, turmeric, cumin, cayenne, oregano.  Good thing I love spices.
iii) Dark green veg with every meal if possible.  Shouldn't be too problematic...remember I had added lots of dark greens to my list of Super Foods so I just need to increase how regularly I consume them.
iv) Water...and lots of it. Twice a day mix the water with aluminum-free baking soda to support alkalinity.
v) Fruits - watermelon (as long as it is seeded - unseeded watermelons are a man-made creation and I should try to avoid), blueberries and blackberries.  For now that's it....we may revisit later but remember our goal is to reduce drastically the amount of sugars in my diet.
vi) Meat and Fish?  Yes...but no pork...only free range, pastured meats such as chicken, turkey, red meat (occasionally) as long as it is organic or natural, hormone-free.  No shellfish, no bottom-feeding fish, no farm-raised fish....salmon and trout are good as long as they are wild.
vii) Green tea, lemon water...as long as I don't sweeten.

Supplements and other food products:
Curcumin (with Bioperine)
Probiotic (5 billion CFUs up to 10 billion)
Coconut oil
Coconut water for hydration
Baking soda with water 2 glasses a day

That's it for the most part....quite a test of my willpower to make some of these drastic changes but at the end of the day I realize the ultimate purpose (and goal) of this Plan.

So this Thursday Victoria and I will meet with my Oncologist and the team at St. Joseph's while I am in treatment to discuss all of the above recommendations, especially the supplements (curcumin and probiotics).    I am hopeful that they are completely on board and that everyone is supportive of this treatment plan.  And if they are maybe I can celebrate with a plate of pasta :-)



Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Calling all supporters...1st Annual "Bum Run"

When I was in for treatment last week the Oncology team was so excited to share news about a charity event that was being organized by a prominent Gastro-enterologist to raise funds and awareness about colorectal cancer - and what a great name for the event The 1st Annual Bum Run: Run for your Bum!!!  http://bumrun.com/  I was immediately intrigued and eager to find out more.   I have participated in or supported participants in several different and well-known (and for some very well established) events over the years but here is something that is truly near and dear to my heart...or to my butt as it is.   It is a 5k Run or Walk on Sunday August 26 in Toronto and promises to be a highly visible event launching from Queen's Park and traversing the streets of downtown TO.

I haven't registered yet but do plan to do so...but here is a shout out to anyone who is interested in joining me, forming a team for this event.  We can even think of a wickedly cool inspirational motivational team name....something with more zest than Team Brown ;-)  

Hey, Barb would this be something you,Tim and your Team James crew would be interested in teaming up with me and my crew?


If you are interested in forming a team with me for the Bum Run let me know either by commenting on this post, send me an email, text me or call me or tweet me (@davidbenbrown).

Thanks all!



Below are some details from the About the Run page on their website...


The Bum Run is a not for profit organization founded by Dr. Ian Bookman, a gastroenterologist in Toronto, with the goal of raising awareness about colorectal cancer screening in order to prevent the 95% of cancer deaths which still needlessly occur.

Our Mission

To increase awareness of how common colorectal cancer is today.  To increase participation in screening programs to prevent colorectal cancer.  To raise funds for charities that have a record in saving lives through promoting easy access to screening.

Colon Cancer Canada

This year, all proceeds will go toward Colon Cancer Canada, a national powerful organization that is dedicated to saving lives through increasing public awareness, promoting easy access to screening, funding research initiatives and providing support to colorectal cancer patients and their families.

Bio-K+ Bum Run Event

On Sunday August 26, 2012 at 8AM, participants will launch the inaugural Bio K+ Bum Run, a 5 Kilometre walk / run event to raise awareness of colorectal cancer.  It will be a highly visible event, starting at Queen’s Park Circle, and proceeding along  College Street, Spadina Avenue, Bloor Street and Bay Street.  This event is organized with the cooperation of the City of Toronto, local City Councillors, and the Sergeant of Arms of the Legislative Assembly of Ontario.

No TSN Turning point today...Darn CID!

So typically by this time after treatment I would be experiencing the ever-desired "TSN Turning Point"...energy levels come back, any GI issues would be relatively manageable, and most importantly the appetite and desire to eat and be active come back...for me with a vengeance (in a good way). Unfortunately, today is a rough day...chemo induced dia$#@&* today....and hitting me hard, knocking me off my feet and sapping any energy I had when I awoke this morning.  WOW.  Disappointing!  And I had such grandiose plans for today - to go for a light jog...jog for about 20 to 30 minutes in the cooler morning.  I have not jogged since prior to my surgery in March and after meeting with my Oncologist last week she gave me the green light to start ....taking it very slow of course AND making sure that I listen or be aware of any signs of distress such as shortness of breath, fatigue and light headedness.  Oh well...let's kick this latest blip and get on with it.

On a positive note, I can feel some of my tastebuds coming back.  I actually tasted the spicy garlic seafood linguine that I prepared last night...or at least tasted most of it.  Still cannot taste tomatoes...unless you consider "cardboard" a taste.  Seriously?  Tomatoes?!  I have always and will always love the taste of tomatoes whether they be field, hothouse, cherry, grape, vine-ripened, whatever and whether raw, stewed, diced and sauteed, however.  Again...oh well...it is what it is.  It could be worse I know but all I can say is these treatments better be doing their job!

Next post....1st Annual Bum Run....there just might be a Team Brown entered to raise funds and awareness for Colon Cancer.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

A minor emergency hopefully avoided

So a brief rant on Day 3 if I may...I got up this morning after a restful and much needed sleep and immediately went for my meds for Day 3 which include my dexamethasone (steroid), my proton-pump inhibitor Pantaloc for Gastro-esophageal reflux (heartburn, sour acid stomach) and most importantly EMEND for prevention of nausea....important...note prevention of nausea.  As an anti-emetic EMEND is designed to be taken during three-days of chemo treatment to prevent the onset of nausea (which has been a relatively intense side-effect for me during the first few treatments) NOT when the nausea has already appeared.  For that I would take a "rescue" drug but unfortunately it interacts with EMEND so I need to be careful when I would take this drug.  I opened the EMEND blister pack and reached for my Day 3 dose of EMEND 80mg and lo and behold the blister was empty.  No pill.  SOL.

I waited until 9:30 when my local pharmacy that dispensed the EMEND was open and called them. They gave me both good news and bad news...the bad news was that they had no EMEND in stock and had to call around to local pharmacies to source.  The good news is that after trying 5 local pharmacies they were finally able to locate a Shoppers Drug Mart about 15 minutes away that had EMEND in stock.  The challenge would be in co-ordinating payment for the drug, delivery vs. pick-up etc. etc.  After a bit of discussion with my home local pharmacy they appreciated the urgency of getting my meds as soon as possible in light of being infused and still in treatment.  They had orginally proposed to drive over to the other pharmacy at the end of the pharmacist's shift at 3pm to pickup the drugs and bring back to their pharmacy for me to pickup.  That wasn't going to work for me as I needed the drug asap (as I mentioned earlier I need to take this drug to prevent nausea onset).  So...it was worked out that I would stop by my local pharmacy and pickup a label to take to the Shoppers pharmacy that was holding my EMEND for me and waiting for me to pickup.  It would be no Cost to me as this was to be worked about between the two pharmacies...and btw the folks...the costs of these drugs is an issue.  EMEND is $120 for three-day pack and is only partly covered by insurance.  I had already paid and been reimbursed by my drug insurance for this script so submitting another claim would be problematic.  I will leave it to the two pharmacies to work out.  Being employed by a pharmaceutical company myself I recognize the importance of reporting this product complaint to the manufacturer (Merck in this case) as the issue seems to be at point of packaging as the blister pack contained an empty blister.  Again, I will discuss with my local pharmacy to push forward with this.

Anyway, may not sound like much to get too anxious about but needless to say after several phone calls back and forth and an unplanned drive across town to pickup medication that I should have had onhand this morning, a minor crisis was averted.  I have taken my meds for Day3 and so far no nausea...keep the fingers crossed.

Thanks to Steven at High Park IDA for his sense of urgency and great customer service to resolve this issue for me as promptly as he did and with as little impact to me as he could manage including financially.

Rant done.  Time to wait for my nurse visit to remove my infusion bottle, flush out the port a cath lines and remove the dressing from my chest (along with a handful of chest hair I am sure - ouch!) and then SHOWER, freshen up and ENJOY my SATURDAY!!!

I hope everyone reading this has a great day today and embraces the day!

Friday, July 6, 2012

Day 2 of Treatment 5. Bye bye taste

Victoria took me to treatment yesterday. It was the first time she had accompanied me since my first treatment so it was powerful for her to reconnect with my treatment experience. We also met with almost the entire team to discuss everything from the latest side effects that I reported from the previous treatment to discussions of research papers that I wanted to discuss which explore adding curcumin as a supplement to FOLFOX and to a discussion of our surveillance plan to assess the success of both the surgical intervention in March and the chemotherapy course on preventing recurrence and spread. A pretty intense discussion as you can imagine.

Side effects

The nurses and pharmacist were immediately concerned with my mouth sores as they had not appeared in the first three treatments but really hit me hard over a week in to this past treatment. Essentially my mouth was a mess. I got scolded a bit for not taking the preventative measures of rinsing with salt water regularly until it was too late and the sores were in full effect. But in my defence they hadn't appeared for the first three treatments so I guess I thought I would avoid this one. Oh well. Salt water rinses for me. Oh joy.

My Oncologist is particularly concerned with the hand and foot pain, neuropathy, and sensitivity to cold from top to bottom. She suggested we reduce the dosage of Oxaplatin and also reiterated that this particular side effect can be permanent or at least long lasting even after treatments are complete. I reisted the reduction in dosage as I really want to maintain optimal chemo attack on the cancer as long as I can live with the neuropathy. I agreed that if it were to get any more intense or to really impact my life then we would adjust the dose.

As for the other SE's it is only Day 2 and the usual fatigue has been present but the nausea and GI issues are not bad at all. The taste buds are gone...shot...bye bye taste. Victoria's jambalaya tonight...smelled great, looked amazing...and by the way she dusted it seemed to be wicked jambalaya. I couldn't taste it at all. Not even a bit. I could feel the heat from the spice but that's it. Damn. And remember folks. I LOVE TO EAT. No appetite. No sense of taste. Damn. I will miss you. Hope you come back soon.

Surveillance. Follow-ups.
An important and laden discussion with Dr. Lingas, my Oncologist, about how we are assessing the success of the surgery and the chemotherapy. Surprisingly it is clear that my Oncology team will work with my surgeon Dr. Hart to assess whether the surgery in March truly "got it all" or whether there is recurrence. Dr. Lingas will be tracking through bloodwork my cells specific tumour markers, cancer signals or markers to detect elevation. In May, almost two months post operative and pre-chemo, my bloodwork showed normal levels in these important markers. Dr. Lingas will assess again in August however she stressed that there can be false positive results that are returned because of the FOLFOX treatments as it can cause elevation of some if these markers so we would need to analyze with a grain of salt. These critical markers will be followed by a CT scan in September that will assess whether the cancer has spread or not. Dr. Hart will oversee the assessment of this critical test and will discuss with me a couple of weeks later what the CT scan means for possible further scopes or surgery. I will more than likely have another colonoscopy in March 2013, one year following initial diagnosis, and annually for the next three to five years. Remember that five years is the goal, the magic number. So...three more months of mind numbing anxiety leading up to the scan in September. Thank God I have our pregnancy to keep my focus and all the positive support of friends, family and followers. You have no idea how much it means to my mental health.

So...Day 2 of treatment 5 of 12 is coming to a close. For those who thrive on numbers this is about 42% of the way there!!! To quote my friend Barb, bring on the next 7! Bring it on! I have had surprisingly good energy today despite not sleeping well last night and having a busy morning with Victoria's ultrasound. I took a much needed nap this afternoon and slept and slept for hours and this evening have felt pretty good considering I am still being infused at home. But...after walking Parker and posting tonight I am done...exhausted mentally and physically...this guy has got to call it a night. Good night all. Talk soon.





19.5 weeks, 10 ounces...and a girl!!!

So for this post I want to write about something completely different from cancer, side effects, my journey if you will. That will be for future posts. Nope. Today I want to simply share some wonderful news about an appointment Victoria and I had today...an ultrasound at 19.5 weeks. We were both hoping that our baby would show as developing normally and healthily and if possible we wanted to know the gender...just because. I guess we wanted to put our whole "Benjamin" vs "Charlotte or Sophie" debate to rest ;-).

And while I waited for what seemed like ages in the waiting room until the technician called me into the room I found myself getting a little anxious admittedly as to why it was taking so long for me to be allowed in to see my wife. I also found myself reflecting on how special and amazing this experience was to be for us in light of all that we have been through over the past several months...but really hoping and believing that all would be positive with this ultrasound.

And the results are in...the baby is 10 ounces, approximately 19.5 weeks along, and shows 10 toes on 2 feet, 10 fingers on two arms, has two eyes, lips and a mouth...and what appears to be the unique parts of a little girl! Or at least the technician is 90% certain that we are having a girl. We are absolutely thrilled. It is truly a miraculous gift that we have that is blessing us. What an amazingly and wonderfully powerfully positive thing to embrace and focus on.

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Cameron Lake...an Rx for healing

The end of the school year on Friday means Victoria is finally off for the summer - YIPPPPPEEEEE! She has been bearing with the oppressive heat for the past few weeks, putting in some late nights with Grade 8 grad functions, class trips etc. and coming home exhausted, swollen and sore...and in much need of some R&R.

So...since I am feeling pretty good all things considered we packed up the car and Parker and made the trek up to our family cottage on beautiful Cameron Lake on the Bruce Peninsula joining my sister, Jodie, and her family. This could be just what the doctor ordered. The cottage has always been a haven for me and this summer it will have even more significance. Packing up Friday night in the heat and humidity of Toronto, I could feel myself getting "excited" at the prospect of spending a few days at the cottage. And quite frankly I could feel my anxiety and stress fade away once we reached north of Brampton on the way up Hwy 10...ahhhhhh......serenity now.

Relaxing by the lake, listening to the waves lap against the shore, hearing the excited squeals of my nieces playing in the water, watching Victoria (looking great in her maternity swimsuit) throw sticks to Parker in the water almost take my mind off "things"...distract me from the brutal mouth sores that decided to rear their ugly painful selves this time around. And guess who didn't pack any special mouthwash?! ;-(

But even a sore mouth won't spoil the re-energizing and balancing effect that Cameron Lake has on me. It's the best Rx ever!